Sammy's Watch together
Sammy's No Secrets Song · 2:28. Watch it together, then ask: what would you do if someone asked you to keep a secret?
Say this tonight
- We don't keep secrets in our family. Surprises are okay because everyone finds out soon.
- If anyone makes you feel weird, in person or online, tell me.
- You will never be in trouble for telling me.
Warning signs in an adult
- Secrets. Asks your child to keep secrets from you.
- Gifts. Gives gifts, money, or game credits for no clear reason.
- Time alone. Treats your child as “special” and finds ways to be alone.
- Private messages. Texts or messages your child privately, often late.
When someone offers to help
People who hurt kids often look for families who are stretched thin: a mom working long hours, a child who is lonely or home alone. They offer what the family needs, like free babysitting, rides, money, a phone, or new shoes. It’s okay to accept help. Just keep these rules:
- Drop in without warning when your child is with them.
- No closed doors, no secret phones, no secret gifts.
- Ask your child every day: “What did you do? Did anything feel weird?”
- If they want more time alone with your child than with you, that’s a red flag.
Read the book together
Sammy and the Too-Special Friend. Swipe to turn the page.
Want to know more?
Tap any question to open it.
How grooming happens, step by step
- Picks a child who seems lonely or has less supervision
- Becomes a friend to the child and the family
- Gives gifts, rides, praise, or attention
- Gets the child alone, like private lessons or sleepovers
- Makes touch seem normal, starting with tickling or jokes
- Uses secrets, guilt, or threats so the child won't tell
Groomers often win over the parents too, so you won't question time alone.
Signs you may see in your child
- Pulls away from family or friends
- Doesn't want to be around a certain person
- Has gifts, money, or a phone you didn't give
- Hides their phone or has new accounts
- Knows sexual things too young for their age
- Nightmares, or grades suddenly drop
These can have other causes, but they mean it's time to check in.
Grooming online
It can happen in games and apps, even at home. Watch for someone who moves the chat to another app, offers gift cards or game credits, or asks for pictures or secrets.
If you are worried
You don't need proof. Stay calm, write down what you saw, and keep any messages. Call Childhelp at 1-800-422-4453. If someone threatens to share photos, contact the FBI at 1-800-CALL-FBI.
Family quiz: true or false?
- A safe grown-up might ask you to keep a secret from your parents. False.
- A birthday present is a surprise, because everyone finds out soon. True.
- If someone gives you lots of gifts, you have to do what they say. False.
- If someone online asks to chat on a secret app, tell a parent. True.
- If you tell, you will get in trouble. False.
What is grooming?
Grooming is when someone slowly builds trust with a child, and often the family, so they can abuse the child and keep it secret. It usually looks like kindness at first.
Can grooming happen online?
Yes, in games and apps. Watch for someone who moves the chat to another app, offers gift cards or game credits, or asks for pictures or secrets.
What should I do if I'm worried?
You don't need proof to reach out. Write down what you saw, keep any messages, and call Childhelp at 1-800-422-4453. If a child is in danger right now, call 911.
More guides
Updated October 2026. Sources: The Center for Child Protection, Darkness to Light, Polly Klaas Foundation, FBI.